I understand; you want to celebrate your love among your beloved family and friends, and yet simultaneously feel the potential overwhelm of many guests with the attention on you. This can lead to excitement about the amazing day you are planning while bringing up anxiety and nervousness. I want to let you know this is 100% okay and you’re not alone. I’m here to help.
Over the years I’ve experienced and witnessed many ways of navigating introvert-life on a wedding day. Below, I will share seven tips on how to create more space for alone time throughout your celebration. Please take what you need.
CURATE A SMALL GUEST LIST. You may feel obligated (or pressured) to invite your long lost aunts, uncles, friends you haven’t spoken to in years — you get the gist. In short, don’t. This celebration is yours, and you get to hand select the humans in your life that bring support, love, and joy to your everyday. These are the ones you’ll already feel safe and comfortable with, lessening and loosening the nerves. If your loved ones want to include their friends or relatives you’ve never met or aren’t close with, invite them to plan a post-wedding get together where they can share the details, memories, photos, etc. An additional bonus to a small guest list (besides the obvious cost savings) is that you truly get to enjoy the presence of each person in attendance through real conversation and dancing.
GET READY TOGETHER, UNATTENDED. Of course, include your photographer if you are wanting coverage during this time of day — but taking this quiet, tender, peaceful time to yourselves before the events begin will help prepare your energy for the fullness later in the day. If it’s important for your wedding party and/or family to be included in the pre-ceremony portion of the day, rather than a hotel, book an airBNB where you and your partner could get away to another space/room to get ready in. Finding pockets of quiet/alone time throughout the day is essential, and this option allows the beauty of both.
SHARE YOUR VOWS PRIVATELY, PRE-CEREMONY. This creates a special moment alone where you can take one another’s words to heart, respond, and be with the promises you’ve been offered. The focus becomes on each other, rather than on you in front of a crowd. Last, this shortens the ceremony time, which is a bonus for those who are anxious about standing in front of all of your guests for, give or take, 30 minutes.
TAKE 5 AFTER THE CEREMONY, DINNER, AND WHENEVER YOU NEED IT. Giving yourself space is always encouraged and acceptable. Often there is a wedding suite in wedding venues that you can escape to, or walk outside for some fresh air.
EAT DINNER ALONE. Ask your venue to set up a lovely spot for you two to enjoy dinner privately. This could be during cocktail hour, giving you the opportunity to visit your guests’ tables during their dinner, so that you are able to eat with your partner, without interruption, with connected conversation. A second option: a sweetheart table — where you can still be in the room enjoying dinner with your guests, yet with less interaction.
SCHEDULE SUNSET PORTRAITS. Usually best right after dinner, or once dancing starts (time of year dependent), this extra time alone is so fun! We’re able to capture romantic images with the colorful sky, and you sneak in a few more moments alone. Win/win.
SHARE A PRIVATE LAST DANCE. This works well when having a grand exit as you can invite your guests outside to prepare for your exit, and prior to, you enjoy an intimate last dance together in your reception venue. It’s emotional, sweet, and lovely way to end the evening.
There you have it! I hope one, two, or all of these seven tips to help regulate your wedding day energy are tools you can use to make your celebration as relaxed, fun, and enjoyable as possible! If you have any additional ideas to share on how you made or are making your wedding introvert-friendly, please comment below!
Cassandra Zetta is a LGBTQ+ wedding and elopement photographer. With the belief that all relationships deserve to be celebrated, her mission is to create an inclusive and safe space where everyone can live and love openly. Cassandra is based in Cincinnati, Ohio, and available for events nationwide.